I may, and most pawssibly (CAT-PUNS) WILL say bad words, insults and say right out outrageous things out of the blue, so please don't say i didn't warn you!
You all should know, that everything i say about demi-gods, shotas and Funiverse (Among many other things, like magic and the many, many stupid things to come.) is just stuff that i made up. It's like a little story. ENJOY!
How are you all today? My name is Arausi Quintero, more know as Ara-tan, Allie (Because of a story I'm obsessed with.), or plainly, Arausi.
I was very bored one day, and just decided to go and make this. I've been slowly improving it. Some specific parts may be pure bullshit. That's because they're old.
That's the reason this page exists.
This be me:
I'm a bit of a geek, i guess. I'm very much obsessed with many things, and am in many fandoms. The thing that pretty much leads my life right now is Homestuck. Although lately the obsession has been waning and waxing like the moon, and I'm (Apparently) starting to move onto other things. Of course, the second anything else happens in the fandom, I'm gonna find out and I'm going to be there.
I hid a quick biography in the HOME section, which is the one you're in, right now. Just hover over the button, and look a little to the right, it's there.
THE STORY AREA BEGINS HERE! All of this is fiction, and most of the content is mine, a number of references to other things scattered around.
Anyway, i suppose i should start telling you about the FUNIVERSE.
God i love that name.
Al-right, the Funiverse is a universe/country (Because it's not really a universe. It's something like a invisible island made visible only to whoever i want it to be visible to.) i created out of being really bored.
It's the perfect place to live in.
There are ALL KINDS OF RACES. And i don't mean only colours. I mean SPECIES. Like...There are Trolls (Both fairytale-Type and Homestuck-Type) , elves, centaurs and all that stuff.
I'm not counting out witches, wizards, demons and angels out. Just that the devils and angels here are kind of...Chibi-styled. I designed them to be less dangerous to others.
There is no pollution. OK, there is. But so little that it's almost ridiculous, and it's reused in various ways.
We fabricate EVERYTHING we could ever need here. YES PEOPLE. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING. Even the most stupid and senseless things. Like SMART SHOES. It's like Iphones, but in your shoes. Also, we're really technologically advanced here. Just a 20 or 30 years more than you guys. Nothing much actually. We all know humanity is quite stupid when it comes to advancing.
Of course, we have a special machine, given to me by the awesome gods I know, though half of them hate me for reasons I'll explain later, that can transform the wastes of the different factories into food for the poor, not that there are too many because of mismanagement on my part, it's just stupid people that made bad choices.
After all, i am supposed to be Half-Omniscient and so on, have some kind of power not to screw up too badly. BUT, i can't control people Per-Se, so their choices are not my fault.
Oops. Block of text. Sorry.
Anyway. This is a land of fantasy and strange things. There are dogs walking around in suits. Pigs with wings, that strangely cannot fly but rather RUN LIKE HELL. Aliens strolling around with ease. You can imagine that.
This is a land that takes cares of it's citizens as much as they take care of it. I, personally, take care of making certain chosen boys and girls as cute and smart as i can. Seriously. I do my best at it, so as to make it impossible that they become bums or something shitty like that. But, when they grow up, most of them want to go and have a different life, and that's fine by me. I give them the tools to live outside and there they go!
The rest just stay under my care. When they get old, i just give them the most peaceful death possible. Only 3 have boys stayed. I gave them a good job and watched over them.
Obviously, i make sure that they are orphaned or something like that. Sometimes, but not many, it happens that the parents are plainly just bastards and i banish them and erase their memories about the Funiverse, with my super awesome Demi-god powers, that can control health, life-time(Though, i suck at it, being my somewhat related friend the Demi-god of Time my teacher. He's not too good at teaching anything outside his area of expertise.) and other general stuff.
And take the kid. If it doesn't want to go with me, which is often (Only 1 kid in 20), i just put her/him with a nice, young and infertile couple or someone who has been wanting children, but can't, for X reason and is a respectable person with the possibility of being a good parent and not screwing up TOO MUCH.
Going on, there has never been any major wars, just little protests and other stuff that were handled quickly, making pacts and new laws, making everybody happy.
There are a number of real state and payment options here, depending of what you want to pay, and stuff. Like, if you wanna live in a nice house, you have to be prepared to pay for it. Prices aren't exorbitant, but not everything (Excepting Internet, that's been free for ages.) is free. You can get some pretty cool things without selling your organs.
Now, magic here is common, thing is that we (Gods and Demi-gods...And a couple 1/4-Gods running around the island.) control it's usage, after all, we know what kind of disaster can happen if some powerful idiot decides to take over, or something stupid like that.
There is even a Magic and Wizardry School, named...I think is had something to do with EarstWhile or something...? No....I'm pretty sure that's the name of a comic...
WHATEVER. There are many schools for gifted kids in different arts, like Bowman-ship, art (I mean it), Theatrics and many more. It's kind of a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig island.
They all have special teachers, some of them stupidly CLICHE. Like the Elves/Bowmanship thing everybody seems to agree on, even the guys in question!
ITS RIDICULOUS. I DON'T GET IT.
Anyway, there's a big university somewhere near the center of our island, named Silverglade University of Everything Ever. I'm the headmaster. Yes, i am, since i created the island. I love the bragging rights.
We offer courses of whatever it is that you may, or may not want to study! Inscription is quite simple, really! Since the building is really damn huge, and we have classrooms that haven't been used in what is almost centuries, all we really need to do to make sure the future students are qualified is throw them in whatever empty classroom we can find, along with a simple test of what they want to study.
They have a two day limit to answer everything, considering how we chuck what is, almost, a book at them. All sorts of technologies are prohibited, and you will be given a patdown if you act suspiciously before entering. Because violating somebody's personal space is the best way to threaten them into not cheating. There isn't a real exams schedule, and you can come in the middle of the school year, provided of course, that you're starting at the next year anyway.
Once they pass (Almost everybody cheats anyway. Mostly because there's this nutso plant guy going around the school, giving out answer sheets to whomever he sees. That includes teachers and janitors. Nobody knows just whom he is, or why is he doing this dumb stuff. We make sure to change the exams as often as possible because of this.), the classes begin.
All our professors have been hand-picked painstakingly, little more than a handful of them are actually humanoid beings. We have a cthulhu-type entity on our philosophy classrooms teaching the minds of the future. As you may have heard, here we have angels, devils, and squid.
Clearly, being only a measly demi-god, I'm not All-Powerful (in the sense of the word that i can be killed, and shit like that, and cannot melt steel bars), so i have help from some random 1/4 gods and a couple of Demi-Gods, as the big, cool guys don't give a shit about us.
There was this boy, 13, maybe 14 years old, he was ridiculously talented in magic and, *LE GASP* Curses, he had this...''Dark'' nature and...Was my favorite out of all of them.
*SOB SOB* (He barely wasn't Severus Snape)
It's needless for me to say that he became a tiny menace to me and my other apprentices (Yep, i teach magic, along with my fellow gods, and wizards and etc; and when we sense the gift, to the magic school they go!) and shotas and all that.
HIS NAME WAS HARRY POTTER
DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUN DUUU-NO.
Just kidding, i think it was Jo... John? I dunno. Little boy had brown hair, and pretty blue eyes.
Well, he was kinda...Violent with other kids. Had a perverse nature. BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH.
Well, i put him into a dream bubble. He's dreaming that he's doing bad things and becoming a evil overlord and stuff like that, even though he left his teachers alone, specially me (<3) , as i gave him the big favouritism. I know, because i check regularly. He won't age in there, unless i say so, and he can do whatever he wants to, he does not even notice he's not even *Technically* alive, as as you already know, i made him immortal inside the bubble.
It's been a good hundred years since that happened.
I have considered putting him out of it.
Also, the boy is going to have a hard time realizing that everything he knew and everybody that was his ''Friend'' is already dead, well, except for that one guy that made the immortality potion...
But he looks like a piece of white, old meat. It's kinda sad, actually. That's why i made him forget the recipe. I could not revert the effects, though. I can make him look younger, many, MANY years younger, but if i do so, it would be like giving candy to a kid after he set the house on fire. I'll put him to sleep one day, though.
Going back to the kid, i wonder if he's gonna cry. I couldn't handle that, i would just put him in the bubble again, erasing any memories of his coming back to the real world. Though, time will say.
Uh. Hi everyone.
I just...Put the boy out the Dream-Bubble.
He hasn't even noticed the change yet. Well, i'm keeping him inside the house all the time, but even so, giving him cookies and milk and TiVo and hugs (He pushes me away all the time, though.) and...Well, he should notice soon, i'm taking him out my house.
*COUPLE HOURS LATER*
Uh...Kiddo...Are you okay...? I asked, trying to be nice, slightly touching the boy's arm.
-''Where is my mother...?''- He asked, a blank look on his face, as he stared at me.
You know...Dead...?- I had decided to be as blunt as humanly possible with this issue.
He then started crying, at first his eyebrows had started going up, but suddenly his whole face contracted into a pink and very displeasing mess. It was my fault this happened, and i knew it.
I-I CAN PUT YOU BACK IN THE BU-BUBBLE, IF Y-YOU WANT T-T-TO!
He stops and looks at me, more fury and than sadness. -''...Really? Well, I don't want to!''
Ok... Want a hug?
*Stares* He stares back
-''Are you...Are you crying...?'' He said this with extreme distaste. Seeing adults cry like that was the sort of thing that made you either embarrased or just sad.
YES. YES, I AM! *Cries more, staining the kid's white dress shirt*
-''...Stop that.'' D:<
I'm b-b-b-back! :D The kiddo has been enrolled again at the magic school and has been doing just great! Attending correctly, finding new ''Friends''(People to manipulate, but whatever. I'll let it go, he's a kid, and if he get's screwy again, i'll just put him to dream again! Horrible tactic, i know. Wow, i'm a horrible foster mother. You wonder how the hell i managed to get all those kids to adulthood.) and getting used to the new technology around.
He was pretty amazed at the Alchemiter(With all the usefullest updates and upgrades possible!)+Cruxtuder+Tothem Lathe+Appearifiers+Punch Designix Combo i got from the Homestuck trolls for the cheap price of 20 BoonMints! Cheap for me, at least.
We had lots of fun fooling around with it! I also used the Code my internet friend John gave me! They were some crazy cool rocket shoes. Code? PSHOOOOOOOOES!
Having me as a teacher once again was pretty satisfying, he said later when we fled home by AWESOME DEMI-GOD GENERIC POWERS. I gave him a smooch on the forehead, losing balance, making me almost drop him. It was adorable.
Also, the latest news!
The owner of some random company has asked for permission to set up a lab and search for the cure of cancer! When i asked what cancer it was, they said something about spirits. Or maybe it was universes and frogs. I Dunno. Anyway, as soon as they got permission, they set up shop.
Wondering why hadn't i seen anybody even come out of there for like 4-6 months, i found out by some random maybe 3/4-God they had been doing weird, murderous experiments. Using my awesome powers, i broke in, avoided thousands of...Okay, like 3, maybe 4, guards; and found the main lab just before they could kill some fool in some random, that i don?t feel like describing, way.
So, yeah. That happened. It's needless to say i exiled them, after erasing their memories FOREVER.
Anyway. I got a group of emo/hipster teenagers strolling around the malls, stealing stuff. I would put them in jail for a couples days, then give every single one of them a good old school hitting in the ass in front of their friends, so they don't do it again.
I forgot. Our cells are nice, big and spacious, not to mention that there are courses given so that people can reintegrate into society if they ever get out, for people who have to stay for a longer time. If not, it's like most prisons. Scary and cold.
As i mentioned before, a good half of the demigods and others out there strongly dislike me. This is mostly because i always enjoy a good prank, and immortal beings don't feel the need to forgive and forget since they're not gonna die regretting being an unforgiving ass hole.
Once, there was this guy i had a crush on, and since we're not dying any time soon this is a big deal. He had something to do with the sun, but it wasn't very clear, since we don't go around advertising who we are and what we can do. However, it was an ill-fated crush, since he had ZERO romantic interest in me, and some resentment from a previous number of embarrassing things that had happened.
Mostly me dropping stuff on him. Juice, glue, UNO cards, you name it, out of nervousness.
He now carries an umbrella around if he know's I'm going to be around. It's entirely out of spite, since he knows I'm just way too embarrassed about what had happened to get anywhere near him with something that can be spilled. Douche bag.
I will continue later...Maybe.